Crazy thoughts

My thoughts are racing like crazy. If only I was able to put them all into words. Maybe it would help. It's been almost 10 months, but I want to use. I want to feel the numbness I do when I'm high. There's those thoughts, but there's also the ones that know what I have to lose and the people I will hurt. I can't get out of my mind that I don't fit in anywhere. That I don't belong no matter how much my friends do or say. I feel alone in a world full of people.

My life is filled with so much greatness. I have an awesome family and friends. A job that is super cool and much more. So why do I get these crazy thoughts and emotions?!

::sigh::